Froggy Reads Fanfiction!
by kureijiwrytah
Summary: Once upon a time, Froggy the Frog decided to start reading and reviewing fanfiction about Sonic the Hedgehog. Seeing as fanfiction can be the absolute pits sometimes, we really shouldn't be surprised that he finds some mind-shattering stuff, should we? (Disclaimer: Froggy is not responsible for the destruction of anyone's sanity. Furthermore, the ratings may be forced to rise.)
1. Froggy Reviews: Sonic the Cat, Chapter 1

It was a dark night.

Big was asleep.

Froggy looked around, then hopped into the living room. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor and positioned himself on the keyboard. He started typing.

 **Good night to you, my Mobian friends. As always, it's your bored, thrill-seeking host, Froggy. Today, I thought that I'd do something a little different.**

 **I'm going to be reviewing fanfiction. Specifically, fanfiction about our beloved hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. An amphibian friend of mind recommended to me a particular piece of work titled** ** _Sonic the Cat_** **, by a certain Yoshi 2.1. He told me that he couldn't tell me much about what it was about without spoiling it, but he promised me that it's a one-of-a-kind read that I'll never forget. Tonight, I think that I'll read it while offering up commentary.**

 **The story has 120+ reviews. How bad could it be?**

 **(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)**

* * *

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sonic and all other characters belong to Sonic Team and Sega. No copyright is used in this story.

This is my second story. Since my Mario story was successful, I thought I would make a Sonic story. Just to point out, this one will be twice as funny as my first story.

Sonic the Cat

Summary: An accident in Tails' lab causes a weird side effect, which turns Sonic into a cat. To make things worse for Sonic, he has attracted the unwanted attention of a certain female cat he knows. Join Sonic on a hilarious run through Station Square as he tries in vain to avoid Blaze's affections, all the while encountering his other friends along the way. The only problem is. Will they recognize him?

Chapter 1

Tails, could you tell me again why I have to be here?'', Sonic asked.

Tails just sighed. That was the tenth time Sonic had asked that question.

* * *

 **Odd. Sonic can be impatient, but not that impatient. Maybe this is just a case of earlystory OOCness…**

* * *

Because Sonic I wanted you to see a new invention that I built, it's far more better than everything else I've ever invented'', Tails explained.

Yeah, everything that blows up in my face all the time'', Sonic commented

* * *

 **What?! This is pure slander. Name one time Tails made something that blew up when it wasn't supposed to.**

* * *

But Tails ignored that comment and continued to lead Sonic downstairs to his lab. The sooner they got downstairs, Tails opened the door and turned on the light. There, in the middle of the table was some small gun shaped device laying there. It was colored with red and gold, and it had sparkly gems embedded in it. But Sonic just looked at it with confusion plastered on his face.

Two questions little bro, what the heck is that thing? , and is it safe?'', asked Sonic

* * *

 **What… what is with this story's awful punctation? It's getting on my nerves…**

* * *

It's a transformation enhancer gun, just one blast it from will allow you to transform into your super form at will without using the Chaos Emeralds. You can also change back to normal form whenever you like, and yes it's safe'', Tails explained.

Tails then turned around pointing the gun at Sonic.

Whoa, why are you pointing it at me?'', Sonic asked in alarm.

I'm gonna test it on you to see if works'', Tails answered

Wait a minute Tails, you never said anything like that on the phone'', Sonic countered

Oh, c'mon Sonic, it won't hurt one bit'', Tails assured him

* * *

 **That's what they all say. Get out of there now, Sonic. I don't like where this is going one bit.**

* * *

Are you sure?'', Sonic asked

Yes'', Tails replied

Well okay, but just once alright'', Sonic agreed.

Got it'', Tails said.

Sonic then stood completely still and waited for Tails to use the device. Then Tails pulled the trigger, a golden laser was fired directly at Sonic. The blast enveloped Sonic in a bright light, which lasted for 10 seconds until it disappeared. But something wasn't right about Sonic. Tails looked at Sonic with shock.

Sonic, are you ok?'', Tails asked nervously

Of course I am, what's wrong,'' Sonic wondered.

Tails was too hesitant to answer. He was riled with fear and regret about what just happened a minute ago. If Sonic was gonna find out, he would have to find out himself.

You may want to look at yourself in the mirror to figure it out,'' Tails said.

Alright, but I don't see what this has to do with any-'', Sonic started to say but was cut off at the very moment he looked at his reflection in the mirror. What he saw in the mirror didn't look anything like his normal self. For example his quills were gone, his peach colored hands and arms were covered with blue fur, his small little tail was longer and more catlike, his ears were wider and more triangular than before, and his hedgehog face was replaced with that of a cat. He was no longer a hedgehog, he was a cat.

AAAHHH, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A CAT'', Sonic screamed.

* * *

 **Well, that explains the title. What it doesn't explain is Sonic being a jerkass to Tails or this story having terrible punctation.**

* * *

There must have been a side effect in the blast, it somehow changed your hedgehog DNA into cat DNA'', Tails explains.

* * *

 **That's… not how DNA works. At all. I'm a genetically mutated frog. I could tell you a thing or two.**

* * *

What am I gonna do Tails, I can't go running around as a cat, It'll mess up my reputation as the world renowned Hero of Station Square'', Sonic objected.

* * *

 **I find this behavior vaguely racist and definitely not Sonic-like.**

* * *

Calm down Sonic I'm sure the others will recognize you if you tell them who you are, and how you got like this'', Tails assured him.

I sure hope they do, because it wouldn't be the same if they didn't'', Sonic said

Looks like you're stuck this way'', Tails informed

Yeah I guess I'll just have to deal with it'', Sonic replied before turning around to leave.

Bye Sonic'', Tails said as he waved good bye.

Bye Tails'', Sonic replied sadly while waving back.

When Sonic was several feet away from Tails' house, he then thought of something.

Hey wait a minute, I wonder if I still have my super speed, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try and see'', Sonic suggested.

Standing completely still, Sonic began revving up his feet like a spinning car wheel, and within minutes he took off in quick flash.

Yeah, alright, my speed is still intact,'' Sonic said.

He dashed all the way through Station Square like a lighting bolt, passing every citizen in his path, he continued running for 8 minutes until he came to a stop.

Man what a run, I am beat, I think I'll relax for a while'', Sonic said exhaustedly.

* * *

 **No more than 8 minutes of running and you're already tired? Who are you and what have you done to Sonic?**

* * *

Looking for somewhere to rest, he saw a bench nearby, he walked over to it and sat down. He stayed there for hours pondering about his new form.

Being a cat sure isn't all it's cracked up to be, I mean like its going to take me some time to get used to it, I just gotta learn to live with it,'' Sonic admitted.

He was so busy talking to himself he failed to notice a familiar lavender female cat sitting on the bench just recently during his ranting. It was Blaze the Cat, a girl who Sonic met two years earlier. Judging by the expression on her face, it was obvious she was drawn to Sonic romantically because of his appearance.

* * *

 **What. What is with this incredibly awkward phrasing, and since when does Blaze act like she knows what romance is?**

* * *

Hi there cutie cat'', She greeted him seductively.

* * *

 **WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK.**

 **SEDUCTIVELY? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.**

* * *

Sonic then stopped talking to look over at Blaze who was staring at him lovingly.

Hi Blaze'', Sonic greeted back.

Blaze giggled like a school girl for replying…

* * *

 **I'll have that part repeated, for emphasis.**

* * *

Blaze giggled like a school girl for replying…

* * *

 **WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU**

 **YOU'RE NOT BLAZE, THAT'S FOR SURE**

* * *

I'm flattered that you know my name, you know I've never met another cat before, especially a blue cat'', Blaze said

But Blaze it's me Sonic, don't you recognize my voice?'', Sonic asked.

Blaze began thinking for about 2 minutes, then she finally realized something.

Wow, you sound just like him, I can't believe it'', Blaze blurted out excitedly.

Sonic had a look of confusion plastered on his face. He couldn't understand why Blaze didn't recognize him when he told her his name.

* * *

 **To be fair, Sonic isn't exactly a common name.**

* * *

Either way, with that aside, how about you and I get together for a little alone time at my place, you know, some romance'', Blaze suggested flirtatiously while winking at him.

* * *

 **blaze**

* * *

Sonic couldn't believe what she was saying to him, He was slightly puzzled over it, he couldn't understand it. Was Blaze trying to flirt with him.

* * *

 **wat r u doing**

* * *

Uh Blaze, are you trying to hit on me or something?'', asked a confused Sonic.

* * *

 **blaze**

* * *

Well of course, I like you sweetie'', She cooed as she scooted closer to him on the bench.

* * *

 **STAHP**

* * *

Sonic just scooted away from her, but this reaction only made her scoot towards him again. For about 13 seconds the more Sonic continued to slide away from Blaze, the more she got closer to him. He kept this up until he was all the way to the end of the bench, which meant he was trapped.

Aw you don't have to be afraid of me sexy I won't hurt you I promise'', Blaze assured him.

* * *

 **I PRAY TO THE MASTER EMERALD THAT THE REAL BLAZE DOESN'T EVER READ THIS STORY**

 **BECAUSE IF SHE DOES, SHE'LL MAKE FOR THE NEAREST LAKE AND JUMP**

* * *

Look no offense Blaze but I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now'', Sonic admitted.

* * *

 **YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.**

* * *

But then he noticed Blaze leaning her face towards his. Sonic knew what was about to happen, It was something Amy always tried to do to him when he was a hedgehog, he knew that Blaze was trying to kiss him. Thinking quickly, Sonic came up with an excuse.

Hey Blaze look its Justin Timberlake over there, Sonic lied as he pointed in the opposite direction, lucky for him Blaze fell for it.

* * *

 **Who the shit is Justin Timberlake, and why should Blaze care?**

* * *

Where, where is he?'', Blaze asked as she looked around.

Using her distraction to his advantage, Sonic took off into the distance, leaving a smoke trail behind him.

* * *

 **What? A… smoke trail?**

 **…No. That's not how it works.**

* * *

The moment Blaze turned around she saw that Sonic that was gone as she noticed the trail of smoke he left behind.

Blaze simply took this in stride and giggled to herself.

That silly cat, does he actually think he can get away from me? Blaze asked herself.

* * *

 **To be fair, he used to be Sonic the Hedgehog. It's not an unreasonable assumption.**

* * *

Standing up from the bench, Blaze looked in the direction of where Sonic had ran off to, she called out to him.

YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER MY DARLING, GET READY, BECAUSE BLAZE THE CAT IS COMING AFTER YOU WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION'', Blaze shouted out before she began taking off after her blue feline lover.

A/N: Whoa, Sonic has got a big problem now, I hope he can get through it soon.

Either way it took me a really, really long time to make this first chapter, I'm exhausted.

Read it and leave a review.

* * *

 **I am not sure that I will leave a review. What I WILL be doing is keeping my word and continuing my review of this story because I made a promise. Regardless of what keeping that promise does to my sanity. I am almost certain that my friend did not have friendly intentions when recommending this story.**

 **Until next time, Mobius.**

 **Froggy the Frog**

* * *

A/N: I figured that reviewing this fic in the undefined character of Froggy the Frog could be interesting. Let's see how this turns out, shall we?


	2. Froggy Reviews: Sonic the Cat, Chapter 2

Unlike the previous one, this night wasn't as dark as the last. The moon shone a little brighter.

Big was once again asleep.

Once again, Froggy looked around before hopping into the living room. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor and positioned himself on the keyboard before starting to type once more.

 **I hope that sleeping won't be too difficult for you after yesterday, my friends. I'm Froggy, I'm back, and I'm honestly beginning to wonder what I'm doing with my life now. I apologize for losing my cool yesterday and swearing like a sailor; I was more than a little unnerved by what I read. I also apologize in advance for any swearing fits on my part again today. I will do my best to avoid such things, but I can make no promises.**

 **As promised yesterday, I'm going to be reviewing fanfiction again. I'm going to be retuning to Yoshi 2.1's** ** _Sonic the Cat_** **. Chapter 2 is on today's menu, and I will be offering commentary as I review. I hope that you didn't eat much; I'd hate to cause anybody to lose their lunch.**

 **(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)**

* * *

Chapter 2

Sonic was still running through Station Square, wondering about what happened just a minute ago.

* * *

 **I'd be wondering this, too. I checked in on Blaze earlier today to make sure nothing had changed without my noticing. She's still the same proud, shy, and somewhat asocial cat that all of Sonic's friends know and love. Hopefully she's too busy to read fanfiction; otherwise, she runs the risk of coming across her depiction in THIS story, and that's a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.**

* * *

I can't believe it, that was totally weird, first Blaze didn't recognize me, then she tried to hit on me, then she almost kissed me, if I hadn't used that Justin Timberlake trick on her, I wouldn't have gotten away in time'', Sonic said to himself.

* * *

 **I have a few questions.**

 **What made you think that "that Justin Timberlake trick" would work on her? Who on Earth is Justin Timberlake, and why should she care?**

 **"Wouldn't have gotten away in time"? It was already established -** ** _in the previous chapter, no less_** **\- that getting turned into a cat hasn't cost you your speed. This isn't like the time that you turned into a werehog, Sonic. You're still as fast as ever.**

* * *

But in the process, Sonic accidentally bumps into Knuckles along the way.

* * *

 **Why is Yoshi 2.1 randomly switching between past and present tense for this narrative? Sonic** ** _said_** **, then accidentally** ** _bumps_** **…**

* * *

Sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going'', Sonic apologized.

* * *

 **…then** ** _apologized_** **. It's just not good form in writing.**

* * *

No problem, hey wait a minute, you sound familiar'', Knuckles said.

* * *

 **…No way. It** ** _can't_** **be that easy.**

* * *

Of course I do Knuckles, it's me Sonic'', He told him.

Oh man, what happened to you?'', Knuckles asked.

* * *

 **So let me get this straight. It took Knuckles about five seconds to realize that Sonic was actually who he said he was and immediately starts interacting with him as usual, but Blaze couldn't get it into her skull after at least two minutes of thinking and exposition from Sonic?** ** _Seriously_** **?**

* * *

I had an accident in Tails' lab, and I got turned into a cat'', Sonic explained.

Man, that's not good'', Knuckles said.

* * *

 **And Knuckles just takes this in stride? No questioning how Tails managed to goof up, despite being spot-on with his gadgetry building almost every other time? Some friend _he_ is.**

* * *

Yeah I know, and to make things worse, Blaze didn't know it was me, now she's developed a crush on me and she's trying to catch me and make me her cat toy'', Sonic explained.

Don't you mean boy toy'', Knuckles corrected.

* * *

 **I was wondering that too, actually.**

* * *

No, cat toy, on account of me being a cat, get the message'', Sonic countered.

* * *

 **…That was a bad joke and Yoshi 2.1 should feel bad.**

* * *

So, what are you going to do now?'', Knuckles asked.

In the meantime I'm gonna find a place to hide so Blaze can't catch me'', Sonic replied.

* * *

 **This would sound reasonable, if not for the fact that you are stating that you are trying to hide from** ** _Blaze_** **, who would normally let anyone who wanted to be alone** ** _be alone_** **.**

* * *

Okay,good luck'', Knuckles said before leaving

Later Knux'', Sonic said before speeding off again

For 3 hours now, Sonic was busy looking for a place to hide in so Blaze wouldn't find him, he tried hiding up in a tree, but that was no good, he tried hiding in an alley, he even tried hiding behind a big rock, but those were no good either. He was just about to give up until he saw a bush in the park nearby. He ran over and jumped into it.

* * *

 **In an attempt to hide from the pussy (cat), he jumps into a bush. I can't help but wonder if Yoshi 2.1 actually planned this little bit of innuendo.**

* * *

As long as I hide in this bush, Blaze will never find me'', Sonic said.

But he suddenly got startled slightly when he heard Blaze's voice

* * *

 **Oh, come on! He's been on the run for three whole hours, and the minute he stops to actually hide, she's already there? Is Yoshi 2.1's Blaze supposed to be omnipresent?**

* * *

Where are you my darling, I know you're here somewhere'', she called out.

Aw man, she must've followed the smoke trail I left behind when I ran off earlier'', Sonic said quietly.

* * *

 ** _that's_**

 ** _not_**

 ** _how_**

 ** _it_**

 ** _works_**

* * *

Come out come out wherever you are'', Blaze called playfully.

* * *

 **This fic should have been called** ** _Sonic the Mouse_** **. You know, because he's being forced into a poorly written and sexualized game of Cat and Mouse.**

 **…That was terrible, but I regret nothing.**

* * *

Sonic then listened quietly as he heard the sound of her walking away. But just be sure, he poked his head out of the bush to see if she was really gone.

* * *

 **You idiot. Why just poke your head out? You're** ** _Sonic the Hedgehog_** **. You run fast. You break the sound barrier whenever you feel like it. Blaze could be just a few feet away and you'd be halfway to Pumpkin Hill before she could take so much as a step. Why hide when you can** ** _run_** **?**

* * *

Sonic sighed in relief as he came out of the bush.

* * *

 **You idiot.**

* * *

That was really close, if she had caught me I don't know what she'd do'', Sonic said.

But just before Sonic could leave someone grabbed his arm and pushed his back against a tree. It was none other than Blaze who had pinned him against the tree.

Gotcha baby", Blaze said.

* * *

 **I'm still trying to imagine these words coming out of Blaze's mouth.** ** _It just doesn't work._**

* * *

What the-, how did you catch me?'', Sonic asked surprised.

You actually thought I left, I just hid behind a tree to trick you into coming out so I could snag you'', Blaze admitted.

* * *

 **Congratulations, Sonic, you got played by a teenage cat that has clearly lost more than a few brain cells to her raging sex drive. I'm honestly wondering if you're** ** _trying_** **to get caught.**

* * *

You're mischievous, you know that", Sonic commented.

I know, I do the best I can, and I heard what you said, and If I had caught you I would,ve done this'', She told him.

Before Sonic could reply, Blaze pressed her lips against his in an unexpected kiss. Sonic tried to push her off but failed, Blaze was suprisingly more stronger than he thought. Sonic shivered slightly when he felt her tongue entering his mouth, licking his own, in fact Blaze's tongue practically wrapped itself around Sonic's, mixing her saliva with his. Sonic just felt more uncomfortable than before, for as Blaze had him in this position, and with her tongue dwelling within his mouth, he wasn't gonna be escaping anytime soon. The kiss lasted for several minutes until Blaze finally pulled away, licking Sonic's lips before retracting her tongue back in her mouth completely.

* * *

 **…I wanted to make a smartass comment so,** ** _so_** **badly. Unfortunately, words have failed me at the moment. My brain is just reeling in horror while visualizing what I just read. I am also getting the strange, terrible feeling that continuing down this path will only end up desensitizing me to this terrible shit that people call romance.**

* * *

MMM, your mouth tastes delicious honey'', Blaze commented as she let him go.

Ha ha, you made a big mistake in releasing me, I'm outta here", Sonic said before zooming off.

* * *

 **So what I want to know is** ** _why didn't you "zoom off" as soon as you heard that she was nearby_** **.**

* * *

Blaze giggled to herself.

He doesn't realize that running away only makes me love him even more", Blaze said as she ran after him again.

 ** _In what sick, sad, demented world does this logic make sense_**

* * *

I could keep chasing him like this all day and night if I wanted to'', She said to herself.

Boy what a chapter. It took me 3 whole weeks to finish this chapter.

* * *

 **Cool story, Yoshi 2.1. I get the impression that it will take me a lot longer than three weeks to have the horror that is this story fade from my mind. I am going to have words with the so-called "friend" that recommended this story to me.**

* * *

Either way, I'm gonna be making other stories for awhile, so I might not have any time to work on a third chapter unless I get the chance. So please don't send any negative reviews to me.

Check Ya Later.

* * *

 **It is a dark path that we tread, my friends. A dark path, indeed. Thankfully, we're already halfway through the story. Until next time, I, Froggy, am signing out.**


	3. Froggy Reviews: Sonic the Cat, Chapter 3

The moon shone a little brighter than the previous night - a cruel irony, as Froggy's mood grew darker as he thought of the coming ordeal.

Big was once again asleep.

Once again, Froggy looked around before hopping into the living room. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor and positioned himself on the keyboard. He let out a sorrowful sigh before starting to type once more.

 **Oh, bother. Froggy has returned to you, my good readers, but I would not blame you for not wanting me to have done so. The past two days have been very bad, and today does not look to lighten our mental loads. Despite this, I can't help but go on.**

 **I'm going to be reviewing fanfiction again. As you've probably guessed, we're going to be proceeding to Yoshi 2.1's** ** _Sonic the Cat_** **, Chapter 3. As before, I will be offering commentary as I review. Buckle your seat belts.**

 **(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)**

* * *

Chapter 3

Boy, that was really awkward back there, at least I finally got away", Sonic said while running.

Along the way he came across Shadow, who was leaning against a tree, minding his own business.

* * *

 **Shadow is an extremely busy person who probably doesn't have the time to hang around leaning against trees. Even if he** ** _did_** **have the time to do so, he wouldn't. He's a solemn hedgehog with an extremely unpleasant past that's made him the way he is, not your average moody delinquent.**

* * *

Hey Shadow, thank god I found you", Sonic said running up to him.

Shadow turned his head to look at him,and to Sonic's relief, he actually recognized him.

Hey Sonic, whoa, how did you become a cat?", Shadow asked.

* * *

 **And so another person recognizes Sonic on the spot. It would seem that Blaze was too head-over-heels and horny to actually use her brain. Also, I have a hard time imagining Shadow wording his disbelief like this.**

* * *

I got like this in an lab accident at Tails' place", Sonic explained.

This is a big problem", Shadow said.

* * *

 **Why is everybody just taking this claim in stride? Everybody's acting like it's nothing new for Tails to have screwed up in the creation of his gadgets, when as far as** ** _I_** **know, he's never even messed up** ** _once_** **! This is slander most false and cruel.**

* * *

Of course it is, because I'm a cat now, Blaze is madly in love with me, and now she's after me, she already caught me once just a minute ago and kissed me with her tongue in my mouth, that was just really uncomfortable for me, so I had to wait for her to let me go so I could get away, and here I am right now, explaining everything to you", Sonic explained.

* * *

 **TMI, Sonic. TM** ** _fucking_** **I.**

* * *

But before Shadow could respond, he was interrupted when he heard Blaze calling for Sonic.

Sonic, honey, where are you my darling feline?", She called out lovingly.

* * *

 **Lovingly? Is that what they call "ragingly hormonal" these days?**

* * *

Oh man, Shadow you gotta cover for me quick, if she asks where I went, tell her you never saw me okay", Sonic told him.

* * *

 **Or even better, just point in a different direction and say "Thataway, pussy cat!" Then again, Sonic has clearly not been utilizing his mental facilities today.**

* * *

You got it buddy", Shadow said giving Sonic a thumbs up.

* * *

 **…**

 **…**

 **…No. Shadow would** ** _never, EVER_** **be caught dead calling** ** _anybody_** **\- let alone** ** _SONIC_** **\- "buddy". He wouldn't give a thumbs up if someone's life depended on it, either.**

* * *

Thanks Shad", Sonic replied before running off.

* * *

 **And he'd only allow somebody to call him "Shad" over his own dead body.**

* * *

The sooner he was gone, then Blaze showed up.

Oh, hi Shadow, listen did you happen to see a blue cat named Sonic, if so, do you know where he went?", Blaze asked.

Nope, sorry, haven't seen him", Shadow lied.

* * *

 **…And he'd** ** _never_** **apologize for something that wasn't his fault. Hell, he doesn't even apologize for stuff that** ** _was_** **his fault half the time!**

* * *

Then Blaze started to get serious.

Alright, fess up black boy, where is he?", Blaze asked in a serious tone.

* * *

 **BLACK BOY?! What'll she call him next? "** ** _Motherfuckin' bitch n*gger_** **"?!**

* * *

Really, I don't know where he is", He lied again.

* * *

 **The** ** _real_** **Shadow would've just walked away at this p** **oint. Not stand around getting questioned for something that's technically none of his business.**

* * *

I mean it, tell me where he is this instant", Blaze demanded.

I told you, I haven't seen AGH", Shadow grunted in pain as Blaze twisted his right arm violently, which indicated she was losing her patience.

* * *

 ** _ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS_**

 **The LAST time somebody tried grabbing Shadow's arm, he almost knocked them unconscious! And the Thorndyke kid was just asking him to** ** _help_** **! Shadow should've blown Blaze into the next week! Not to mention the fact that Blaze would** ** _never_** **inflict bodily harm on somebody unless they were putting the Sol Emeralds at stake!**

* * *

Tell me where he is right now or I'll break your arm off and shove it down your throat", Blaze threatened him.

* * *

 **Well, listen here-**

 **…No. I'm done. At least for right now, I'm** ** _done_** **talking about what the real Shadow and Blaze would have done.**

* * *

He passed by here a few minutes ago, he ran off when he heard you looking for him, he went in the East direction", Shadow admitted.

Okay then, that's all I wanted to know, see ya later Shadow", said Blaze as she let go of his arm before dashing off to find Sonic.

Aw man, Sonic is gonna slaughter me for this, big time", Shadow said to himself.

* * *

 **…Nope. Not saying anything.**

* * *

Meanwhile...

Sonic was still speeding through Station Square, trying desperately to escape from Blaze. As he ran he kept looking over his shoulders to see if Blaze was right behind him, he was lucky, but only for a while, because there was a possible chance that she would catch up with him sooner or later. He then spotted Silver up ahead, walking in the opposite direction.

Yo Silver, it's me Sonic", He greeted as he stopped in front of the white hedgehog.

* * *

 **Actually, he's a silver hedgehog. That's why he's called** ** _Silver_** **. You don't call Knuckles "Butts" when the spikes are sticking out of his** ** _knuckles_** **, now do you?**

 **Yes, I know that I'm being unnecessarily snippy right now. Can you blame me?**

* * *

What the heck happened to you?", Silver asked in surprize.

* * *

 **…What was that last word again? Let's go back just a little bit.**

* * *

What the heck happened to you?", Silver asked in surprize.

* * *

 **…Surprize.**

 **What is Spellcheck? Clearly something Yoshi 2.1 has never heard of before, that's for sure.**

* * *

Lab accident", Sonic answered.

That makes no sense at all", Silver pointed out.

* * *

 **The full explanation makes about as much sense. Get out with your sanity intact while you still can, Silver.**

* * *

What I mean is that one of Tails' stupid new inventions malfunctioned when he tested it on me, it caused a side effect, which turned me into a cat, now thanks to him, I'm stuck like this forever, and to even things out, Blaze has fallen in love with me, she doesn't recognize me, and now I'm being chased by a lovesick cat, who won't stop trying to capture me until she succeeds, I tell you, this is more worst than being chased by Amy", Sonic explained.

* * *

 ** _…Oh, sweet Master Emerald, that last just made me think of something._**

 **If this is Yoshi 2.1's portrayal of Blaze, just how crazy would he make** ** _Amy_** **? The stuff that he could do with somebody who actually** ** _is_** **interested in Sonic would blow the crazy hormonal shit that is his depiction of Blaze** ** _out of the motherfucking water_** **.**

 **You may insert an obligatory comment of me questioning why nobody seems confused by one of Tails's inventions suddenly deciding to not work here. I'm still thinking about all the terrible things that Yoshi 2.1 could do to all the other people I know and love.**

* * *

Whoa Sonic, I don't know what to say pal, looks like you're in hot water now", Silver said.

* * *

 **Knowing how immature and naive Silver can be, I'm actually rather surprised that he didn't tell Sonic to do something dumb like "give Blaze a chance".**

* * *

Thanks for the comfort man, now I gotta get out of here before Blaze catches me", Sonic said.

* * *

 **So you weren't even going to ask for some sort of help? You're on the run, yet you'll just stop to moan to other people about the troubles that have been afflicting you in hope of _comfort_?**

 **You** ** _imbecile_** **. You'd deserve it if Blaze caught you right now, I'll have you know.**

* * *

But before he could take off, Blaze caught up with him and embraced him in a hug from behind.

* * *

 ** _You motherfucking imbecile._**

* * *

Now I've got you this time baby", Blaze cooed.

Before Sonic even knew it, Blaze turned him around and captured his lips in another kiss, once again sticking her tongue inside his mouth, Sonic tried struggling as hard as he could to break free, but to avail, this also caused Blaze to press her lips down even harder on Sonic's, sticking her tongue more further into Sonic's mouth, which nearly made him choke. Blaze then finally pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva hanging in between mouth and Sonic's mouth before it dissolved.

* * *

 **Ignoring the fact that Blaze basically just raped Sonic's mouth again,** ** _why isn't Silver doing anything_** **? You'll go as far as traveling to the past and killing somebody in order to save the world, yet you'll just stand by and do nothing as a friend of yours is forced into non-consensual sexual activity? Some hero you are, pal.**

* * *

That was just awkward", Silver commented.

* * *

 **That's what you get for being a bystander, asshat. Next time, get shit done.**

* * *

Suddenly, Blaze picked up Sonic and hoisted him over her shoulder.

Come on honey, let's go somewhere more quiet and tranquil so we can be alone for a while", Blaze said before walking in the opposite direction while carrying Sonic with her.

* * *

 **"And by that, I mean 'let's go somewhere where I can rape you in private'! Doesn't that sound nice?"**

 **She might as well have said that. Damn you, Yoshi 2.1. Damn you.**

* * *

Silver just stood there completely motionless, shocked at what had just happened a minute ago right in front of him. He never expected something like this to happen.

Like I said before, that was just awkward", Silver stated again.

* * *

 **"you fucking piece of fuck**

 **YOU** ** _FUCKING_** **PIECE OF** ** _FUCKING_** **SHIT**

 **I HOPE YOU** ** _DIE_** **"**

 **\- Pewdiepie, 20XX**

* * *

Well everyone, I finally made the third chapter.

I hope you like it.

* * *

 **I didn't. Fuck you.**

* * *

Bye for now.

* * *

 **See you in Hell, degenerate.**

 **I'm just too drained for right now, my friends. No additional commentary from me. Froggy, signing out.**


	4. Froggy Reviews: Sonic the Cat, Chapter 4

The moon shone yet a little brighter than the previous night - something that Froggy wouldn't have known, as Big had decided to close the curtains before going to bed that night.

Big was once again asleep.

If genetically-mutated frogs could have bags under their eyes, Froggy would have had them. For once, Froggy had no need to look around before hopping into the living room; Big was snoring, and Froggy knew that his beloved owner was asleep. Leaping onto the computer, he fired up its word processor once more and positioned himself on the keyboard. He just shook his head before starting to type.

 ** _Sonic the Cat_** **, Chapter 4, by Yoshi 2.1. Let's just get this farce on the road. I have enough to say later.**

 **(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)**

* * *

Chapter 4

Blaze this is foolish, would you please let me go?", Sonic asked Blaze, who was still carrying him over her shoulder.

* * *

 **You know what else was foolish? Reading this fanfic. More on that later, though.**

* * *

Let you go, but sweetie, if I do that you'll just run away again", Blaze replied.

Well, yeah, that's what I've been doing all day just so I could escape from you", Sonic said sarcastically.

* * *

 **How on MOBIUS was that supposed to be sarcastic? He's being perfectly honest.**

* * *

You sound so cute when you use sarcasm honey, it arouses me", Blaze said lovingly.

* * *

 **Number of People on List of Those Confirmed to Not Know What Sarcasm Is: 2**

 **Members of List: Yoshi 2.1, Blaze**

* * *

Man, there is just no way I can make her leg go of me, wait a minute, maybe there is, I hope this works", Sonic thought.

* * *

 **Leg go my Eg go.**

* * *

Then, without warning, Sonic began tickling Blaze, who started laughing as he tickled her. Sonic knew for a fact that Blaze's weakness was that she was ticklish, and he was using it to his advantage.

* * *

 **Blaze isn't exceptionally ticklish; if she were, then Cream would have mostly certainly used this to her advantage when playing with her.**

* * *

Hahahahahaha, stop it, it's too much, please stop hahahahahahahaha", Blaze said in between laughs.

Unable to take the pressure, Blaze was forced to drop Sonic. This gave him the opportunity to dash away while she still laughing. Unfortunately, Blaze spotted him running off and dashed off after him. This time, she was hot on his trail, she saw him up ahead and started speeding up to try and catch up to him. Luckily for her, Sonic was unaware that she was behind him. Thinking quickly, Blaze then got an idea. Crouching slightly while still running, Blaze then launched herself at Sonic and tackled him, knocking them both to the ground, with Blaze turning Sonic over on his back and pinning his arms down.

* * *

 **How. Just** ** _how_** **.**

 **The first chapter made it perfectly clear that Sonic is still as fast as he always was - and this is the hedgehog(-turned-cat) that breaks the sound barrier on a daily basis. Blaze is pretty fast, but she's not** ** _anywhere_** **near that fast… and if anything, squatting to crouch while running should've slowed her down IMMENSELY.**

 **Honestly, try running while crouching. How do you even do it? You're not getting anywhere fast, and you're certainly not going fast enough to bust the sound barrier.**

 **I… ugh.**

* * *

How did you catch me?", Sonic asked.

* * *

 ** _That's what I want to know._**

* * *

I was able to run fast enough to catch up to you and then tackle you to the ground", Blaze answered.

* * *

 **No, he means "How were you able to go that fast?" It's a valid question that has no adequate answer.**

* * *

You just don't give up, do you?", Sonic commented.

Nope, I love you too much to do that", Blaze replied cheerfully.

* * *

 **love**

 **verb**

 **feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).**

 **…Well, it would seem that the definition of love** ** _does_** **, in fact, encompass the possibility of it being purely sexual. I looked up that definition to take another shot at Blaze's continual use of that word, but it seems that she was actually using it correctly. Technically.**

 **What I want to know is what caused her to suddenly fall head over genitals for the first blue cat she saw to begin with.**

* * *

Why didn't you believe me when I told you it was me?", Sonic asked changing the subject.

What are you talking about?", Blaze asked in confusion.

Sonic then gently pushed Blaze off of him and got up from the ground and dusted himself off before continuing to speak.

* * *

 ** _Gently_** **? Too fucking kind, Sonic. Too fucking kind. I would treat somebody who forced unwanted sexual advances on me far less kindly… if I were to interact with them at all. Unfortunately, being a genetically mutated frog doesn't get me many dates.**

* * *

What I mean is, when I told you that who I really was earlier, you didn't even recognize me, you thought I was somebody else with the same name", Sonic explained.

I don't understand, what are you saying", Blaze asked.

* * *

 **This may be the first time in this fic that Blaze has made a valid statement. Sonic is being extremely cryptic. I expect that Yoshi 2.1 made him speak this way for dramatic purposes.**

 **Poorly written dramatic purposes, if the previous three chapters have been anything to go by.**

* * *

Blaze, its me Sonic, it really is me, if you don't believe me, take a good look at my eyes and tell me what you see", Sonic told her.

* * *

 **Well, that wasn't actually terrible. I mean, green isn't exactly a terribly uncommon eye color, but for a desperate hedgehog, that was actually a fairly reasonable attempt to get her to believe him.**

* * *

Doing as she was told, Blaze looked deeply into Sonic emerald green eyes, and stayed like that for eight minutes, then it dawned on her.

* * *

 ** _Eight minutes?!_**

 **I know that my suspension of disbelief has already been completely and irrevocably shattered, but this just annihilated the remains in a new way. Try staring into somebody's eyes for eight minutes. Just try it. I'm serious, ask somebody if you can do it right now.**

 **…Well? Wasn't it really boring? Ain't nobody got time for that.**

* * *

Oh my god, it really is you Sonic", Blaze said in surprise.

See I told you, you should've listened to me before", Sonic said.

* * *

 **Yeah, but then this story would only be one chapter long - and then we wouldn't have gotten this amazing, beautifully-written masterpiece of a fic that Yoshi 2.1 has crafted for us!**

* * *

Oh, I am so sorry about that, It's just the moment I saw you like this, I couldn't help but fall in love with you, anyways I didn't mean to cause any trouble for you, you must think I'm a stupid cat", Blaze said in sadness before she turned to walk away. But Sonic grabbed her hand, turning her back around to face him.

* * *

 **I smell a bad cliche coming up. I mean, not counting the one that just happened. (Just be honest, Blaze. "Fell in love?" Just tell him that you wanted him to do terrible, lewd things to you. Preaching about how you "fell in love" with a guy you'd just laid eyes on is just… no.)**

* * *

No, I don't think you're a stupid cat, in fact, I think you're beautiful beyond all odds", Sonic told her.

* * *

 **Well,** ** _I_** **think that you're stupid, but that's not your fault. You're just trapped in this godforsaken story that is stupid "beyond all odds".**

 ** _WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY_**

* * *

Blaze couldn't help but blush as her cheeks turned cherry red. No one has ever called her beautiful before in her whole life.

* * *

 **No boyfriends? No parents? What kind of neglectful, lousy life did you live before now?**

* * *

You-, you really think I'm beautiful Sonic? ", Blaze asked shyly.

* * *

 **Oh, so we're** ** _shy_** **now? You're chasing this random guy all over Station Square, telling him that you love him and forcing kisses on him and threatening to snap the arms off of random bystanders who won't tell you where he's gone, but just get called beautiful by this same guy once and you're suddenly** ** _shy_** **? This isn't just OOC for the original Blaze; this is OOC for** ** _the depiction of the Blaze that Yoshi 2.1 has given us._**

 ** _Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck thiiiiiiiiiis._**

* * *

Of course I do, you're far more beautiful than Amy or Rouge for that matter", Sonic admitted.

* * *

 **Whoa there, tiger.**

* * *

Aw, that's so sweet", Blaze replied.

Yeah, I know, actually there's something that I've been meaning to tell for some time now", Sonic said.

* * *

 **I would say "Come on, he's not really going to go for the 'I've been in love with you the whole time' cliche garbage after all that's happened", but Yoshi 2.1 has shattered my faith in him too many times in this fic to really believe that.**

* * *

Really, what is it?", Blaze asked.

Well, the truth is, um, uh, it's kinda hard to say, but, I love you Blaze", Sonic admitted.

* * *

 **…Well, there you have it. Here's the moral that Yoshi 2.1 is trying to teach you, kids: if you REALLY love a man, chase him against his wishes, sexually harass him in both word and deed, and then start beating yourself up in the hopes that he'll turn around and comfort you. He'll HAVE to fall for you then! It's kind of like Stockholm Syndrome, except you're being chased instead of being placed in captivity. Heh, get it?**

 ** _NO_**

 ** _NO_**

 ** _FUCK THIS_**

 ** _WHY_**

 ** _I CAN'T HOLD MYSELF BACK ANYMORE_**

 ** _WHY, SONIC?_**

 ** _WHY?_**

 ** _HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, SONIC?_**

 ** _HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, YOSHI 2.1?_**

 ** _WHY?!_**

* * *

Blaze had a look of surprise on her face after hearing what Sonic just said. It made her heart beat more faster than normal, she couldn't help but feel affected and flattered by his confession. As it turned out, before she even met him as a cat, she already had a crush on him back when he was a just a hedgehog, but she never had the confidence to tell him. After having known him for only two years, she figured now was the time to let him know of it.

* * *

 ** _So she already loved Sonic, but when she thought that he wasn't around, she fell head-over-pussy for a random blue cat that she'd never met before. And Yoshi 2.1 just drops this on us NOW._**

* * *

But if you loved me all this time, why did you run away from me all day", Blaze wondered.

* * *

 **Because he's dumb. Like this story.**

* * *

Because you chased me all around town trying to catch me and make me your cat toy", Sonic replied.

* * *

 **Amid all the insanity, we actually have a valid point. I'll give credit where credit is due. Just because you're interested in someone doesn't mean that you'll let them do terrible things to you.**

 **Still,** ** _fuck this shit_** **.**

* * *

Yeah, I couldn't help it, It's just that I never met another cat before, so I just lost control of myself, my hormones just got the best of me", Blaze said.

* * *

 **…Really. In all your years, you've never met a cat before.**

 **I call** ** _utter bullshit_** **.**

* * *

Oh yes, I know that for sure Blaze, you were a little bit rough with the kissing, you've got a habit of using your tongue a lot though", Sonic commented.

About that, I got that habit from my mother, she always used her tongue whenever she kissed my dad. In fact, she french kissed every guy she dated during her high school and college years", Blaze replied.

* * *

 **Things We Learned In This Paragraph:**

 **Blaze must have been lying her ass off two paragraphs ago, because she's obviously already met her own parents, who must have been cats.**

 **Blaze's mother has a shocking lack of sexual discretion when around her daughter. (French Kissing your man** ** _in front of your kid_** **. Really.)**

 **Blaze's mother apparently also likes bragging about her sexual exploits to her kid.**

 **…Suddenly, Blaze's over-the-top horniness in this story makes sense. Terrible, horrifying,** ** _actual_** **sense. She apparently had a shit role model for a mom, which is why she acts likes this.**

 **Fuck you, Yoshi 2.1.**

* * *

Oh, well that explains it, but then again, I gotta say, you've got some soft lips, probably got those from your mother too", Sonic said.

* * *

 **"You leave my mother out of your cheesy, godawful pick up lines," a sensible Blaze would've commented snappily.**

 **"Shut up, logic and dignity aren't allowed in** ** _this_** **story," Yoshi 2.1 retorted before typing the next sentence.**

* * *

You think my lips are soft do you , well how's about kiss just to confirm that", Blaze said seductively.

* * *

 **Kill me.**

* * *

Hmm, you read my mind", Sonic retorted.

They embraced each other and lean their faces towards each other, until finally their lips met. It didn't take long for Blaze to slip her tongue inside Sonic's mouth, all the while pushing him down on to the grass, climbing on top of him, and locking her legs with his. Sonic tried to slip his tongue into her mouth, but Blaze's tongue overpowered him, pressing itself down on his own. They continued kissing for several hours until after a while they finally separated, leaving a trail of saliva in between their lips before it dissolved away.

* * *

 **The problem here is that Yoshi 2.1's writing style is reads like a ten year-old's, but contains sexual content that no adolescent child should know of.**

 ** _Ugh._**

* * *

How was that honey cat", Blaze cooed.

I loved it, but not as much as I love you, Blaze the Cat", Sonic replied.

I love you too, Sonic the Hedgehog", Blaze returned.

Please, call me Sonic the Cat", Sonic corrected her before she leaned down for another kiss.

Many Months Later…

* * *

 **Yay, now we get an Epilogue.**

 **BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!**

* * *

Sonic and Blaze have been in a relationship for 5 months now. Since then Sonic eventually got used to being a cat, seeing that it wasn't so bad after all, and he decided that he was going to stay that way from now on, even if his friends disagree with it. The lovely cat couple was currently walking down the sidewalk while they were holding hands.

Well Blaze, what can I say, being a cat sure is enjoyable for me, I should've realized it before", Sonic said.

Yes, you should've", Blaze agreed.

* * *

 **Damn. Look at all of these terrible cliches.**

* * *

I mean really, I got Knuckles, Shadow, and Silver to recognize me, and best part is, now that I'm a cat, If I ever run into Amy, she won't even know its me", Sonic said.

* * *

 **What. Amy can be pushy, but when you get over her overbearing crush, she's actually a very kind person and a good friend. Wanting to keep her in the dark as to what's happened to him for over a timespan of "many months" is both cruel and completely unlike Sonic.**

 **…Bah, who am I kidding. Yoshi 2.1 has already established that he doesn't give a damn about portraying Sonic or Blaze or Shadow or** ** _anyone_** **for the people they really are.**

* * *

Yeah, could things get any better than this", Blaze commented.

Actually, yes they could", Sonic replied as he let go of Blaze's hand and got down on one knee in front of her.

* * *

 **don't do it**

* * *

Sonic, what are you doing?", Blaze asked feeling puzzled.

* * *

 **don't you fucking do it**

* * *

Blaze the Cat, I love you, will you marry me?", Sonic asked her as presented her with a diamond ring.

* * *

 ** _you_**

 ** _fucking_**

 ** _imbecile_**

 **You just HAD to find a way to make this story even worse.**

* * *

Blaze's eyes filled with tears of joy and happiness, she couldn't believe what had just happened, Sonic had just proposed to her in a loving fashion, she was overwhelmed with happiness.

My answer is yes, yes I would love to marry you", Blaze squealed with glee as she embraced her new fiance in her arms and kissed him on the lips.

* * *

 **Cliches, more cliches,** ** _ugh_** **.**

* * *

It was official now, Sonic and Blaze were engaged to be married.

One Year and two months later…

* * *

 **So let me get this straight. It took them mere** ** _months_** **to get engaged, but they took over a** ** _YEAR_** **to get married?**

 ** _bull_**

 ** _fucking_**

 ** _shit_**

* * *

All of Sonic's closest friends were gathered at a local church in Station Square for Sonic and Blaze's wedding. Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow were Sonic's best man and groomsmen, while Cream, Marine, and Rouge were Blaze's bridesmaids. The rest of the gang was among the crowd of wedding guests. Among them were Silver, the Chaotix, Cream's mother Vanilla, Big the Cat, and the Babylon Rogues. Vanilla had noticed that Vector was crying.

* * *

 **So, I have** ** _several_** **of problems with this** ** _._**

 **1\. Shadow has come a long way from his first meeting with Sonic, but he doesn't care enough sappy business to even** ** _attend_** **weddings - much less serve as a groomsman.**

 **2\. Rouge knows who Blaze is, but they're not** ** _nearly_** **close enough for Blaze to be interested in wanting Rouge to be her bridesmaid. Also, observation of Blaze and her behavior has indicated that she's QUITE unhappy about her lack of bosom. The website known as TV Tropes has even mentioned it. Would she really be able to get over the jealousy that Rouge probably generates in her?**

 **3\. So Silver's just** ** _there_** **? He's a generally good kid, is far more socially capable than Shadow, and is an actual friend of Blaze's. Why isn't** ** _he_** **a groomsman?**

 **4\. Big's there** ** _without_** **me? Horseshit. Where Big goes, I go. (Unless I'm being kidnapped.)**

 **5\. Where the hell is Amy?**

 **6\. It bears repeating that** ** _Big is there without me_** **. That's a crock of fucking shit.**

 **7.** **I smell a cliche coming from Vector's direction.**

* * *

Vector, what's wrong dear, why are you crying?", Vanilla asked him.

Nothing's wrong, It's just that I love weddings so much", Vector replied tearfully while wiping his tears with a tissue.

* * *

 **Aw, there, there, big guy. Would you like a hanky? I left mine next to my big old bag of worn out cliches.**

 ** _The "big guy is actually super sensitive and blubbers at anything" cliche is overdone and pisses me the fuck off._**

* * *

Oh Vector, that's so sensitive, I like a man with sensitivity", Vanilla said as she held Vector's hand affectionately.

* * *

 **Was this really just included to put a moment in for Vector and Miss Vanilla? Come** ** _on_** **.**

* * *

Vector just blushed in response, which made Vanilla giggle.

* * *

 **Oh, sweet Master Emerald, don't let sweet Miss Vanilla become a slut, too.**

* * *

Meanwhile, at the altar, Sonic and Blaze were currently standing together holding hands. Sonic was wearing a fresh black tuxedo with a red rose on it. Blaze was wearing a white silk thread wedding dress, which had tiny little red diamonds engraved in it. Then everyone then kept quiet as the minister began speaking.

* * *

 **You can't "engrave" diamonds into anything. You also can't "engrave" anything into a wedding dress. The word that you're looking for is "embedded", Yoshi 2.1. Get a fucking dictionary.**

* * *

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Sonic the Hedge-, sorry, Sonic the Cat and Blaze the Cat in holy matrimony, if there is anyone believes that these two should not be together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace", the minister announced.

* * *

 **I do, but unfortunately, I can't just hop into this fic and let everyone know what a horrible arrangement and relationship this is.**

* * *

Do you Sonic, take Blaze to be your lawfully wedded wife, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her",

I do

And do you Blaze, take Sonic to be your lawfully wedded husband, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish him

* * *

 **"And by 'love, honor, and cherish him', we mean 'habitually sex the fuck out of, with or without his consent,'" clarified the clergyman.**

 **"Been there, done that!" Yoshi2.1!Blaze chirped happily, forcing another French Kiss on her poor, sexually abused man.**

* * *

Yes I do

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you-

STOP! STOP THE WEDDING!", Yelled a familiar voice.

* * *

 ** _That's what I wanted to say_** **. Unfortunately, I don't think that I'll be able to celebrate this; taking a look at the list of people attending the wedding, we have a notable exception who Yoshi 2.1** ** _would_** **have conveniently left out for the sake of having her burst in at the worst possible moment.**

* * *

Everyone gasped and looked in the opposite direction as Amy Rose came running down the aisle, straight up to Sonic and Blaze.

* * *

 ** _I fucking knew it._**

* * *

Amy, what are you doing here?", Sonic asked in anger.

* * *

 **Says the guy who didn't invite one of his oldest friends to his wedding. Asshole.**

* * *

SONIC HOW DARE YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY BLAZE, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME", Amy shouted angrily.

* * *

 **Whoa there, bitch. There are many reasons to oppose this marriage, but that is not one of them.**

* * *

AMY, I'VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU", Sonic yelled back.

YOU DO TO, HOW COULD YOU BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS?",

* * *

 **Great. My fears from the last chapter have been confirmed: Amy is yet another crazy bitch that Yoshi 2.1 created out of an actual person who is actually** ** _not like that_** **.**

* * *

WHAT THE *** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU CRAZY ****",

* * *

 **Yes, the script actually says this. This narrative has no qualms with describing French Kissing and grinding in full, terrible detail, but will censor out swear words with asterisk.**

 **What the hell, Yoshi 2.1.**

* * *

HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME SONIC",

YOU'RE RUINING MY WEDDING",

* * *

 **She didn't need to; this wedding was already ruined by virtue of the fact that it's based on a terrible union that happened over the course of a few months with explanation that was terrible when it was there and scarce when it wasn't.**

* * *

I DON'T CARE",

* * *

 **Jerk.**

* * *

SOMEONE GET HER OUTTA HERE",

It's ok, Luigi and I got her", said Mario, who grabbed Amy by her right arm while Luigi grabbed her left arm. As the Mario Bros. dragged her out, she yelled back to Sonic.

* * *

 **Mario and Luigi?! The pot-bellied plumber and his younger twin brother that Big, Sonic, and the others met at the Olympic Games? What are they doing here? They weren't on the attendance list!**

* * *

THIS ISN'T OVER SONIC, YOU WILL BE MINE SOONER OR LATER, JUST WAIT AND SEE, YOU'LL SEE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER", Amy yelled.

* * *

 **Oh, dear.**

* * *

IN YOUR DREAMS PSYCHO", Sonic retorted.

The sooner Amy was out of sight, Mario and Luigi came walking back in.

Well, Amy's taken care of, we tied her to a tree, she won't be going anywhere soon", Mario informed him.

Thanks Mario, you're a life saver", Sonic said.

No problem", Mario replied.

We were glad to help out", Luigi replied.

Afterwards, the minister continued with the wedding.

As I was saying, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride",

Everyone cheered with joy as Sonic and Blaze shared a kiss. It was now official. Sonic and Blaze were now officially married.

* * *

 **"It was now official. Sonic and Blaze were now officially married."**

 **This message has been brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department. We will now return to our regularly scheduled program.**

* * *

Meanwhile, Amy was still outside, tied to a tree like Mario said, angry over how Sonic chose to marry Blaze instead of her.

Stupid Sonic, he thought I wouldn't know that he was a cat or that he was getting married, hmph, I knew it all just by eavesdropping on conversations about it, well if he thinks he can settle down with Blaze, he's got another thing coming, he'll see, he'll see that she's not right for him and he'll come running to me in no time at all, I guarantee it", Amy said while smirking evilly.

* * *

 **uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh**

* * *

Uh oh, it looks like Amy's got something evil on her mind, she might try to break up Sonic's marriage, how will she do it you ask?, that's gonna be a secret for now.

* * *

 **This is the worst way to sell anyone on reading whatever you'll write next, mark my words.**

* * *

Well, this is my final chapter, sooner or later I'll make a sequel to this story. It'll be called, "Sonic The Cat: Love & Revenge".

* * *

 **This would have triggered a complete and utter meltdown from me under normal circumstances, but… well, I already knew about this "sequel" since this afternoon. I'll get back to this after we finish.**

* * *

Okay, it's not as funny as my last three chapters, but it should still be interesting.

* * *

 **Neither this chapter nor the last three chapters could ever be described as "funny" by any sane reader. Except in a "hahaha, this shit is so bad, it's hilarious" kind of way.**

* * *

And by the way, the part where I have Mario and Luigi make a guest appearance, I thought of that idea while I was making this chapter.

* * *

 **The fact that it was a last-minute idea is very obvious. They weren't listed in the paragraph telling of who came to the wedding, but were still around to haul Amy out regardless. This means that they just magicked their way in between paragraphs.**

* * *

I hope you like it, I worked very long and really hard to make this.

* * *

 **I didn't like it, and I will have to drink very long and really hard to forget this. But more on that later.**

* * *

Disclaimer: All rights to Sonic the Hedgehog belong to Sega, no copyright was used in the making of this story.

* * *

 **Sonic the Hedgehog belongs to no man, and no copyright law in the universe is going to stop him.**

 **…Comment if you get the reference.**

* * *

P.S.: Mario & Luigi belong to Nintendo, again, no copyright allowed.

* * *

 **Well, this would be the end of it. This would be the part where I would hit "Post", turn away, and never look back.**

 **The problem, however, is that I'm not done.**

 **Earlier today, when Big was taking an afternoon nap, I was online and received an email from an anonymous reader. This reviewer knows exactly who I am, and - after informing me that this fic has two sequels - demanded that I continue reviewing Yoshi 2.1's work with** ** _Sonic the Cat_** **and posting those reviews.**

 **If I do not comply with these demands, this reviewer will ensure that Big will find this fic and read of it.**

 **If you do not know my beloved owner, then you don't know how terrible this would be. Big is a simple soul. A bit dense at times, but still a wonderful fellow. Reading such terrible, poorly written things about his beloved friends would absolutely confound him. His mind might be permanently affected. What's worse, if he mentioned it to one of his friends… well, they'd all be horrified. I cannot allow such a thing to happen.**

 **So, I will review the sequel. And the sequel's sequel.**

 **The review for the sequel's first chapter will be posted at about the same time as this one. It may not be viewable by all, due to the M Rating that the original fic is rated under.**

 **For those who are morbidly curious enough to read it, you may find it on my profile or by allowing your search engine to permit M-Rated results.**

 **For those wise enough to not read it, you have my blessing to leave.**

 **Froggy out.**


	5. Sneak Peek at Sonic the Cat: L&R

After finishing the review for the final chapter of _Sonic the Cat_ , Froggy let out a choked sob. _Oh, the things I do for love_ , he silently lamented. He quickly uploaded his review before opening up a new word document and starting to type.

 **Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.**

 **Ladies and gentlemen, we rapidly approach Part 2 of the wild ride that is my attempts to review Yoshi 2.1's** ** _Sonic the Cat_** **trilogy while attempting to keep my sanity from fragmenting. I, Froggy, will attempt to keep you entertained with sarcastic commentary and by being brutally honest about Yoshi 2.1's many mistakes.**

 **Here we go.** ** _Sonic the Cat: Love and Revenge_** **'s first chapter begins now.**

 **(The original story will be in plain script. My commentary will be sectioned off and in bold.)**

* * *

Sonic The Cat: Love & Revenge

Summary: Taking place ten years after Sonic The Cat, Sonic and his new wife Blaze are living a happy life with two adorable kids named Jake and Lilly. But however, a certain Sonic-obsessed hedgehog girl, Amy Rose, doesn't approve of Sonic's new life, and she plans to wreck his marriage and take him and the kids for herself. Now Sonic and his family and friends must do whatever it takes to stop Amy's corrupted plan before it takes place.

* * *

 **What this summary** ** _doesn't_** **tell you is that Sonic and co. were terrible friends to Amy who didn't let them know where Sonic had been off to for the past months. Or that Sonic and Blaze's relationship is terrible. It doesn't excuse whatever Amy may do in revenge, but they really aren't paragons of sainthood themselves.**

* * *

Note: Includes full guest appearances by Mario, Luigi, and other Nintendo characters.

* * *

 **Hopefully, Yoshi 2.1 will remember to inform us** ** _this_** **time.**

* * *

Disclaimer: All Sonic characters belong to Sega.

P.S.: Nintendo characters belong to the Nintendo company.

Chapter 1

Today was just a normal, peaceful day in Station Square. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and citizens were out traveling around the city. It was like as if things couldn't possibly get worse.

* * *

 **So, right off the bat, I have a serious problem with this sentence. The word "today" implies that that day is** ** _this_** **day, which in turn implies that it's still going on. However, "was" implies that it's in the past, which would mean that it's already over. Which means that it is** ** _not_** **, in fact, today. You see what the problem is?**

 **And that's the least of our worries.**

* * *

Speaking of which, things were going perfectly for Sonic, who was now living a glorious life, happily married to his true love, Blaze. For all that was known, Sonic was turned into a cat during an accident in Tails' lab. At first he was dissatisfied with his new form, it was at this point that Blaze fell madly in love with Sonic,

* * *

 **What? No, it was** ** _not_** **at that point. Chapter 4 of the previous entry explicitly states that she'd loved Sonic for a long time. If I can keep track of your story, Yoshi 2.1, then you should be able to, too.**

* * *

who would always run away from her when given the chance, but she often succeeded in catching him everytime she chased him.

* * *

 **And forcing poorly-written French Kisses on him, but that's neither here nor there.**

* * *

Eventually, Sonic soon realized his true feelings for Blaze, and they became a couple.

* * *

 **Worst. Plot. Ever.**

 **BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!**

* * *

At that point, Sonic decided to remain as a cat. Soon after, Sonic proposed marriage to Blaze, who joyfully accepted. But during the day of their wedding, Amy Rose had attempted to crash it, falsely believing that Sonic had left her for Blaze, though Sonic knew that he and Amy were never a couple at all. However, before Amy could even do anything, she got apprehended by Mario & Luigi, who tied her to a tree.

* * *

 **Which, by the way, is uncharacteristic of Mario and Luigi. Those guys deal with their problems by jumping on the heads of whoever caused the problem. Tying them to a tree? Nope.**

* * *

Since then, Amy hasn't been seen for days or weeks, which sits well for Sonic & Blaze, who were currently watching TV while their son & daughter were outside playing with the family dog Sammy.

* * *

 **Sonic has been a cat for at least ten years.**

 **Blaze has been a cat for all her life.**

 **…And they and their children, who are presumably cats as well, are** ** _okay_** **with having a dog for a pet?**

* * *

I love my new life, I gotta a lovely wife, two wonderful kids, a nice clean home, and a obedient dog, don't you agree Blaze", Sonic said.

* * *

 **Oh, Sonic. Surely you must know that the Big Book of Fictional Cliches declares that talking about how great your life is going is a guaranteed way to utterly fuck yourself over.**

 **…But then, you don't really care, do you?**

* * *

I most certainly do Sonic", Blaze agreed.

So, have you heard from any of the others lately?", Blaze asked.

Yep, I talked to Knuckles yesterday, he and Lien-Da are making plans for their 4th anniversary this year", Sonic replied.

* * *

 **Aw, so Knuckles got hitched to a nice lady? That's probably the only thing about this chapter that I'm actually going to like.**

* * *

Really, I sure hope Knuckles know what he's doing", Blaze commented.

I'll ask him today, I'm meeting him at the mall later", Sonic said.

Sooner or later, their kids came through the back door with the dog, who was a black lab.

* * *

 **The "L" in "lab" should have been capitalized, and I still don't know what possessed you to think that a pet dog was a good idea for a family of cats.**

 **Oh, never mind. I remembered what possessed you.**

 **YOSHI 2.1, THAT'S WHAT**

* * *

Mommy, daddy, we're back", said the kids.

The married couple turned to look at their children, who were cats just like them. The male cat, Jake, was blue like his father, but he had purple streaks on the tips of his ears, while also having golden eyes like his mother, he was at least 10 years old of age. The female cat, Lilly, was the same color as her mother, but she had emerald green eyes like Sonic. She was 9 years old of age.

* * *

 **What beautiful, precious children. I hope that your parents are better role models to you than Blaze's were to her.**

* * *

Hey there kids, did you have fun outside?", Blaze asked.

Yeah, we taught Sam how to play dead", Lilly said.

That's nice, well I gotta go meet Knuckles, I'll be back soon okay", Sonic said as he got up.

See you soon honey", Blaze said giving him a french kiss.

* * *

 **NOPE, APPARENTLY NOT**

 **So you just French Kiss in front of your kids?** ** _Why_** **?**

* * *

Whoa there Blaze, warn me next time before you use your tongue", Sonic said.

* * *

 **More like "Save it for the bedroom".**

* * *

Blaze just blushed and giggled.

* * *

 **Oh, so** ** _now_** **you're shy.**

* * *

After giving his kids a hug, he then headed out the door.

Later at the mall...

So, how's the married life for you?", Knuckles asked.

It just fine, how's Lien-Da doing?", Sonic asked.

She's alright, she's still at home with the kids", Knuckles replied.

* * *

 **Kids? Multiple, at least two. After only four years of marriage? Knuckles got** ** _BI-ZAAAY_** **!**

* * *

So, what are you planning for your anniversary?", Sonic asked.

Not a lot, I already bought a gift for her and everything, there isn't much else", Knuckles said.

Did you hide the gift?", Sonic asked.

Of course, I'm not stupid, I hid it in a place where she'll never find it", Knuckle assured him.

* * *

 **Under the pillow, behind the couch, in your pants, where? (Note: all three of them are terrible hiding spots.)**

* * *

Good, I'm pretty sure that she's got a special gift for you too, If you know what I'm getting at", Sonic said smirking.

* * *

 **The Sonic that I know is as celibate as they come, but even if he weren't, he'd have enough class to keep his nose out of other people's sex lives.**

* * *

Now cut that out buddy, Lien-Da isn't that persistant", Knuckles said chuckling.

* * *

 **Knux is a pretty good support about it, yet doesn't get inappropriate about it. Good man. If somebody had tried giving me shit about what me and my (non-existent) girl do, I would've given him the flipper-slapping of a lifetime. Anyway, Lien-da sounds like a nice person - which is a rarity in Yoshi 2.1's sick, twisted world.**

* * *

You sure about that, you won't know until you find out", Sonic said.

* * *

 **Shut the fuck up.**

* * *

Whoa, look at the time, I gotta hurry home, me and Lien-Da are going out for a lunch date on our anniversary", Knuckles said as he got up while looking at his watch.

Better hurry, you don't wanna be late", Sonic said.

See ya later Sonic", Knuckles said waving goodbye as he left.

Bye Knux", Sonic replied waving back.

* * *

 **Definitely some goof-ups here and there, but despite the OOCness and general awfulness of the writing, this wasn't as bad as Yoshi 2.1's standard. Maybe he got better.**

* * *

That Knuckles sure is one lucky guy", Sonic said.

* * *

 **Weren't you bragging about how good your life was just a page or so ago?**

* * *

Hi there Sonic", said a familiar voice.

Sonic's happiness was replaced with anger and resentment as he instantly recognized the voice of none other than Amy Rose, the same hedgehog who had always been in love with him since the day they met. Ever since the incident at the wedding, Sonic had hated Amy for weeks and months, and he had refused to forgive her because of it.

* * *

 **Oh, dear. If Yoshi 2.1 will start going into Terribad Overdrive, it will be right about now.**

* * *

What the heck do you want Amy?", Sonic asked without even looking at her.

I just noticed you over here, and decided to see how you were doing", Amy said acting like everything was normal even though it wasn't.

* * *

 **To be fair, she's actually acting fairly reasonable right now. Sonic, on the other hand, is acting like he has a colossal stick shoved up his feline ass.**

* * *

As you can see, I'm fine, now go away", Sonic said.

* * *

 **"Make me, you big pussy," Amy retorted.**

 **Get it? Pussy?**

 **...I'm sorry. It's my way of coping.**

* * *

Come on, you're not still mad at me are you?", Amy asked.

Of course I'm still mad at you, you almost ruined my wedding you moron", Sonic replied angrily while turning to look at her.

If you hadn't betrayed me in the first place, none of it would have ever happened", Amy retorted.

* * *

 **Yup, we're heading straight into Terribad Territory.**

* * *

Ugh, when are you gonna get it through your screwed up head, we were never together, we never dated, and more importantly, I never liked you anymore than I did before", Sonic stated.

Why couldn't you understand the fact that we were meant for each other?", Amy pointed out.

* * *

 **Amy is being more subtle than Blaze was in the last story, yet is still being crazy and terrible and generally unlike her true self.**

* * *

Because we never were meant for each other, you were too obsessive, I never like that about you at all", Sonic replied.

* * *

 **The real Sonic has similar problems with Amy, so this statement is actually believable.**

* * *

Oh really", Amy commented.

Yeah really, and if you think that you're gonna get me to like you, you are hugely mistaken, because that is never gonna hap-

But Sonic was suddenly cut off when Amy pressed her lips against his in a forceful kiss, shoving her entire tongue into his mouth, licking all around the inside. Sonic desperately tried to pull away from her, but Amy wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and neck, forcibly pulling him closer to her body. After struggling for sometime, Sonic finally manages to push Amy off of him, knocking her to the floor.

* * *

 **Hooray. Yoshi 2.1 is back to his terrible in-depth descriptions of French Kisses between a slutty kisser and an unwilling kissee. Also, why can't Sonic actually fight back? We know that he's surprised and all, but… it shouldn't take this long to fight back. This is the same guy who pulverizes giant steel robots to save the world on a regular basis.**

 **…Speaking of which, I wonder what Eggman's been up to in this story.**

* * *

YOU CRAZY *****, WHAT THE ****DID YOU DO THAT FOR?", Sonic yelled while wiping his mouth.

* * *

 **And we're back to censoring profanity with asterisks, despite just having described a forced French Kiss in cringeworthy detail. I seriously want to know how old Yoshi 2.1 was when he wrote this.**

* * *

I just thought that a kiss would make you change your mind about me", Amy said seductively as she got up.

* * *

 **This is dumb and bad, and Amy should feel dumb and bad.**

* * *

Well, keep on dreaming, because there is no **** way I'll ever fall in love with you, I'm married to Blaze not you, so just leave me alone and stay out of my life", Sonic said before storming off.

Hmm, so he thinks he has a happy life does he, well he won't be happy for long once I manage to destroy his precious marriage, then I'll have that blue cat all to myself", Amy said forming an evil smirk on her face.

* * *

 **This wording is so cliched, so bad, and sets a standard for what I've come to expect from Yoshi 2.1. That run-on sentence was terrible, and it has** ** _Amy_** **casually** ** _talking to herself_** **about how she will** ** _destroy somebody's happy marriage_** **.**

 **Fuck this.**

* * *

Later back at home...

AMY DID WHAT?", Blaze asked in shock.

Yep, that's right, she kissed me, right on the lips, with her whole tongue slithering in my mouth, it was horrible", Sonic told her.

* * *

 **"Slithering". Damn, Sonic, you sure can sell a story.**

* * *

Why that dirty, conniving, crazy hedgehog girl, I oughta rip off her arms and feed her to alligators", Blaze fumed.

* * *

 **Ignoring the fact that Blaze would never say such a thing in her life, I find it particularly amusing that she specifically picked alligators. At least she remembered that they're friends with a crocodile.**

* * *

Whoa whoa, take it easy honey, let's not get carried away, besides, there's nothing to worry about, you and I are married, and I love you very much, nothing will ever change that", Sonic assured her.

* * *

 **Sonic, to Amy: I hate your guts and I never wanna see you again and you're a horrible slut**

 **Sonic, to Blaze: Aw, don't do anything to her!1!**

* * *

Aww, I love you too darling", Blaze replied kissing him on the cheek.

So, where are the kids and the dog? ", Sonic asked curiously.

* * *

 **You just noticed that they were gone? I know that you were mad about getting your mouth raped again, but a good father should've noticed this straight away.**

* * *

Blaze giggled before replying.

* * *

 **In general,** ** _Blaze_** **giggling - either in real life or in Yoshi 2.1's world - is a bad sign (for two entirely different reasons, depending on the world).**

* * *

Jake and Lilly are spending the night at their friend's house and Sam is outside in his doghouse, so we have the house all to ourselves, and I'm feeling a little in the mood if you know what I'm talking about", Blaze said seductively.

* * *

 **Everyone's a whore.**

* * *

Oh I know exactly what you mean baby", Sonic replied before chasing Blaze upstairs towards the bedroom for a little fun time.

* * *

 **Fun time? Is that what they're calling it these days?**

* * *

Well, here it is, the first chapter of this story, I spent three days working on it.

I hope you like it.

And just to point out, this story is gonna be rated M for specific reasons.

* * *

 **Oh, we can guess why, Yoshi 2.1. We can guess why.**

* * *

By the way, the nintendo characters will be making guest appearance in the next chapters.

* * *

 **You always make a point to reference Mario and Luigi. Are they going to be Station Square's newest plumbing company?**

* * *

Goodnight everybody.

* * *

 **Yes,** ** _good night._**

 **Seeing as this chapter was relatively tame, I may just post it to the original set of reviews about the trilogy. This chapter wasn't as bad as the previous fare, but if Yoshi 2.1 decides to start writing about the characters' sex lives, then it can only go downhill. We'll have to wait and see.**

 **Froggy, signing out.**


End file.
